You have the right to remain silent (though you are already bound and gagged)
Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. (Of course, you'll probably be out within three issues anyway, so don't sweat it)
You have the right to be speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. (At least the questioning done by the cops... I rather doubt that your lawyer was around while you were hanging from your heel on a 33rd floor balcony)
If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense. (along with a chiropracter, massuese and crisis counselor, after you were hung from said balcony)
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